Saturday, November 29, 2008

Things You Should NEVER Say To A Children’s Pastor


* Do you think you’ll have a real ministry someday?
* When I was growing up in church we didn’t need to have fun.
* What do you do with all that money the board gives you?
* You’re disturbing the MAIN service.
* Choir members shouldn’t have to work in the nursery.
* How come VBS is only five days long?
* You don’t mind taking care of the children during the staff retreat do you?
* I don’t think anyone will mind if we add another worship service.
* Just announce it in the bulletin if you need more workers.
* I’ll bet you enjoy this as much as the kids do.
* My kid says you won’t even last as long as the last one.
* I told the pastor what happened in children’s church.
* Who’s Larry the Cucumber?
* But I’ve been teaching the class this way for over forty years.
* I like the Quarterly better.
* After church lets out I need to talk to someone, just keep my kids in children’s church for a while until I get back.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

I am hurting to see


because of what we do as Children pastors we sometimes forget that God loves us the same way we tell people that God loves them.
during my planning time for Sunday I found a envelope in the offering bucket that was sealed and had a little heart on it, there was a drawing inside that said I love you God
its awesome to see how kids grasp that God loves them more than adults and even us

Thursday, November 13, 2008

too much church

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN CHURCH
COMMUNICATIONS IF...

1. You've ever contemplated breaking into your own church in the dead of night so you can delete the comic sans, Papyrus and Curlz fonts from staff computers.

2. You've ever used a cross instead of the letter T or X.

3. You've explained DPI more times than you've explained your faith.

4. Redesigning the church logo is a weekly project, yet your new design is never used.

5. The words "Don't worry, this will only take a minute," send you into fits of rage.

6. Staff members try to make your job easier by asking you to send them last year's flier and they'll just 'update it a bit.'

7. Your suggestions are always brushed aside with, "but that's how we've always done it."

8. The design they had to have tomorrow is never used. And you're never surprised.

9. Stolen images, pirated software and breaking copyrights is justified because it's "God's Work."

10. You've ever wondered why God gets the credit when things go right, but you get the blame when things go wrong.

11. You've ever caught yourself proofreading the Powerpoint slides during worship.

12. You consider yourself bilingual because you're so adept at translating Christianese.

13. Your only intimate relationship involves late Saturday nights with the church photocopier.

14. You can't actually attend the events and programs you work to promote because you're too busy promoting them.

15. Research for sermon series branding means watching tv.

16. You can't invite your friends to church because you've told them to many not-so-flattering stories about your pastor.

17. You and the senior pastor have conflicting definitions of the word "deadline."

18. It's perfectly acceptable to use a volunteer's work over yours, but using a volunteer's sermon? That's a good joke.

19. Pastors inevitably become your Art Director, and their previous experience with "art" involved crayons.

20. The Holy Spirit is a legitimate excuse for last-minute changes.