If Children's Pastors Ruled...

* The church water fountain would dispense Kool Aid.
* Hymns would have motions.
* Nursery duty would be mandatory for all choir members.
* Ushers would pass out animal crackers.
* Puppets would staff the church welcome center.
* People being baptized would be allowed to splash.
* Greeters would wear full body costumes and do balloon sculpting.
* Every Sunday you could poke your head into the adult service and bark out, “Keep it quiet!” and they would obey.
* Church staff meetings would be held at Chuck E. Cheese.
* Adults would raise their hands during the sermon and ask the Senior Pastor for permission to go to the bathroom.
* Church boards could only say one phrase: “Go ahead, we don’t care how much it costs.”
* Puppets would come up with their own skits.
* When people got saved in the adult service the Senior Pastor would fire off a confetti cannon.
* The adult service would have to use the sound system with the high-pitched hum.
* Children’s workers that didn’t show up would be fined. At the end of the year you could use the money to go to the Bahamas while they ran VBS for you.